Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
