I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
