think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
