Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We need to get me chipped asap
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