Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize