um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
