I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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