is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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