It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
