i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
