We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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