fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
