There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
