Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
