My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
