just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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