Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
