I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
