i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
