Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
