Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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