so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize