11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
