So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
