mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
