my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
