WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
her vagine was all disorganized.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
