sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize