what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize