OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
