Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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