I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
