: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
