I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
