Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
