do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
