yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
