these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
