I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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