can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize