I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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