You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
