My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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