I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
