I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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