can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
