Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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