Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
