If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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