Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
