my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
