And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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