Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
