dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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