Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
