Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I understand Curling. That high.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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