Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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