I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
