First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
