I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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