Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
