She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
