it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
