its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
