He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
