I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize