Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
