we have officially lost it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
