i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize