I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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